Soul Mate
by MaureenSantoro
Summary: What happens when you meet your soul mate after being married for 10 years and he is 11 years younger than you...
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

"Hey Bella" I hear my coworker from across the room say "Yeah" "Hey, I am going on lunch, do you think you could have the new guy, Edward sit with you a little bit while I am gone?" I look up and my heart almost stops, standing by my desk is the most adorable looking guy that has EVER stood by my desk. I mean seriously what did I do right or maybe even wrong to be able to train this guy? I literally want to run into my boss's office and hug her or slap her because this guy has made my stomach have instant butterflies and the giggles..what is wrong with me? I mean he is a really beautiful looking guy and you see them in the movies all the time but whoever expects one to actually walk into your job? Like an angel from Heaven?

"Yes, he can sit with me for awhile" I try to say as nonchalantly as I can. He smiles at me and asks where can he plug in at? I look at him like, what did you just say? And he lifts up his phone jack. My goodness Bella, you've got to get it together! I tell myself, he just wants to plug his phone in so he can listen to your calls. You're acting like you've never done this before. He laughs and it's a great laugh and I know I am a goner.

So what? a handsome man is sitting with me, so what? that I am extremely attracted to said man, so what's the problem you might ask? Well, my "problem" is my husband of 10 years, Jacob. I know what you are thinking, why is it a problem? You haven't done anything wrong. I know that but my marriage is not doing so good right now, we've hit a little bump in the road. I don't know why, we just have. It seems like our lives are going in opposite directions right now, we don't really do anything together just us anymore, we have a son that is 6 and we do family things together but a lot of the time, if I am being honest, with you, even with myself, Jacob will take Cody places when I am going out with my girlfriends or I have a work related meeting and then I will take Cody when Jacob is off on his business meetings and trips. It's almost a marriage of convenience now. It's really sad, but what do you do?

So, this brings us back to the moment at hand. I have thought others were cute, sure! But the moment I saw this guy I feel the instant connection and this flesh and blood, warm bodied man is now sitting next to me, making me giggle like a freaking school girl.

Thankfully we are surrounded by all our co-workers, this should help to keep me sane. I start going over what we do in our department, he seems to be listening and then he asks me a question that I am so not prepared for "what kind of movies do you like?" It's an innocent question, I know that but it's also personal. "Um, well I like action movies, dramas, romance ya know" "I am a big fan of the comic book movies, like Spiderman, Batman, The Avengers, have you seen any of those yet?"

"Well, I saw Spiderman and loved it, I know a lot of people thought it was too romantic but I really liked it" He smiled "I thought that's what was so endearing about the movie, I liked the romantic part of it, because that is how the comics are."

This is how our conversation goes, flowing back and fourth like a river, ebb, flow, give, take and as it does it leads to more personal conversation till we are making plans to go to the movies with our co-workers. Everyone is invited.

My co-worker, Rose comes back from her lunch and advises me that she has a meeting now and that Edward needs to stay with me. My heart does a little jig and I say "ok, cool. That's fine" I look at Edward and he says "Oh, yeah that's totally fine with me too." and he looks at me, did I mention that his eyes are this beautiful green and when he looks at me when we are talking it's like he is looking into my soul. Wow, I am so dead!

Our day continues, in pretty much the same fashion, talking with Edward is so natural. I catch him staring at me throughout the day, at first I think that I am imagining this electrical current that is running between us but then one of my other co-workers, Walter comments on it. I realize it's not in my head and that I better try to reel it in.

Edward is being sent on a business trip and I think this is good. Out of sight, out of mind. Who am I kidding? Absence makes the heart grow fonder is more like it! Half of the time that he is gone, I am out of town too, when I come back he is still gone. I casually ask my boss when will Edward be coming back? She tells me he will be back on Thursday and she wants him to resume sitting with me but for him to do the work and for me to listen. And stare at him, wait no! Listen only Bella.

The day he returns to work is the best day ever! He walks over to my desk and my heart skips a beat. I begin to wonder what happens when your soul mate walks into your life and it's not your husband of 10 years? What happens when your soul mate is 11 years younger than you? And you begin to wish that you were born in 86 instead of 76? What do you do? What do I do?

When I am with him it's like breathing. He is amazing, funny, sweet, soft spoken, the most caring, gentle person, and did I mention beautiful. When he stares in my eyes while we are talking I kind of stop breathing and want to reach out to just touch his face. I want to put my hand on his chest to feel his heart beating. When he smiles the whole room lights up! I am falling hard and fast and I can't fully give myself to him and I am being such a silly, silly woman because I don't even know his feelings for me.

What I do know is that my day doesn't start until I hear him come in. I hear his "Good morning Bella" and I know it is going to be a good day.

My soul is longing for his, my heart wants to be his, my lips want to kiss his, I want his hands to caress me, I want to feel his hands on my arms, I want to feel them on my back. I want to tumble backwards onto a bed with him laughing and kiss till we have to come up for air. I want to explore his body and learn all about him. I want to feel the scruff of his face on my back and stomach. I want to feel his warm fingers caressing the inside of my thigh. I want, I want, I want.

After a month of intense flirting he asks everyone if they want to go to the movies on Friday night, but I know that it's so we can see each other outside of work.

We meet outside the theater, we are the first ones here, we are both about an hour early. "Edward, what time did you tell everyone else to be here?" He just smiles and suggests that we go for a walk and takes me by the hand. He takes me to the side of the theater where not many people go, as we turn the corner, I feel myself moving quickly, being pushed up against the wall and being kissed the way a woman needs and desires to be kissed. I can't breathe and my hands are in his hair. His hands are everywhere, my arms, my face, my back and finally they slowly caress the sides of my breasts and I can feel myself react. I hear a moan and realize that it's me. He pulls away and looks at me and I giggle. "Are you OK?" "Edward, I am more than OK, you have woken something in me that has been missing for a long time." He smiles and gently kisses my forehead.

"Bella, I know that it's not fair of me to have done that to you but I just had to know what it would be like, just once". A single tear slips down my face and he reaches out to catch it. "Why, are you crying?" "Because I know that if just can't go past what just happened, I want more, I want to feel you laying next to me, I want to feel what it's like to be with YOU!" I reach up and pull his face down to me. I kiss his beautiful lips, tasting him and when he slips his tongue onto my lips, I open up to him willingly as our tongues taste each other. I can't tell who's moans are louder. His hands slowly go up the back of my top, when he hesitates at my bra strap, I slowly caress the front of his pants, he takes that as a big invitation and unclasps my bra, his hands come around to the front of my shirt, he slowly and deliberately starts to make his way to my breasts. His fingers are long and perfectly warm, he takes one of my nipples between his fingers, I start to shiver. He presses his body into me for the first time I can feel how his body is being affected. His free hand travels down to the top of my jeans, all I can say is "please". He slowly unbuttons my jeans and I feel his fingers slipping into the top of my panties and I start to writhe against them. As one of his fingers dips into me I gasp at the warmth and intensity. We start to kiss and my hand goes to his pants, I need him, I need to feel him, inside me. I need to fill the emptiness. I take him in my hand and he feels perfect, smooth, warm, big and hard. He moans into my mouth and starts to push me towards the bushes. Am I really about to do this? Am I about to actually make love to him because that is what it will be, making love, I love this man and this may be the only time I ever get the chance. I am going to take it.

We momentarily pull away from each other and the coolness of the night is all around us. He takes his jacket off and lays it on the grass. He lays me down on it. His eyes are hooded and he looks drugged, I know that I am. He slowly pulls my panties down, as I work on his pants. He is so beautiful, I want him in me and I can't stand it. He spreads me open and I feel the coldness of the night mixed with the warmth of him between my legs. "You are so ready for me" I can't say anything so I take him in my hand and guide him. He thrusts deep and long into me, I have to clap my hand over my mouth to keep from screaming out his name. I come up to meet his second thrust, as he puts his hands under me and pulls me up. He starts slowly but I know how hard it is to stay that way. He starts to thrust harder, I pull him into me with my feet on his ass because I don't want him to pull out. I want to feel him come inside me. He looks me in the eyes "are you sure" as he starts to shiver and shudder, "Yes, I am sure", one last thrust and we are rocketing off the earth together. He smiles "I can feel you, all around me" I laugh and kiss him hard. I start to cry, "I love you" he whispers and I nod in return. His breath is shallow and I can feel his heart pounding against my breasts. I don't want this to end, I want to lie like this forever but I know that we have friends waiting for us. He gets up and we quickly get dressed. He starts laughing because I have grass stains on the back of my shirt. How do we explain those? I need a jacket and I certainly cannot show up wearing his. We run back to my car and I grab my jacket.

When we get back to the theater everyone is there already, "Where were you guys?", "We didn't think you were coming" Edward and I look at each other and smile, "Oh we were coming alright" he says and I feel my whole body blush. My friend Alice looks at me like she knows something but doesn't want to say anything. We walk into the theater and as I go ahead of Edward he rests his hand on the small of my back. I turn around to look at him, as if to tell him he's got to move it but it's too late, he's been seen. Alice grabs my hand and pulls me to the side.

"What's going on?"

"Nothing, what?"

"Don't nothing what me!, I saw what I saw, he had his hand on your back!"

"So"

She looks at me like I've become some sort of raving lunatic. "Bella, when a man puts his hand in that location of your back it's not nothing, it's a very intimate location"

"Alice, I don't know what you are implying but I don't like your tone." I have never been snippy with her before but it makes her back off.

"Bella, I hope for your sake and your husbands it _was_ just nothing." I smile at her "Let's go in, the previews are about to start and you know that I love previews."

When we get back into the theater there are only two seats left, one next to Edward and one next to my friend Tyler. Alice looks at me to see where I will go. I have to decide quickly but thankfully Edward makes the decision easy for me, "Bella, sit here with me, I bought a large popcorn and we can share it." I smile and head to the seat next to him, I can hear Alice's "tsk, tsk" under breath, but at this point I really couldn't care less.

As soon as the lights dim in the theater I can feel Edward's hand at my leg. I quickly look at him and can see the love and desire in his eyes for me. I blush and know my life will never be the same.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

When we are back at work on Monday we have to act normal but little glances and smiles are abundant. The text messages are flying. As I leave work for the day I notice that Edward has delayed going to his last break and gets up and follows me to the elevator, making sure no one else gets in with me. Just as the doors are closing I see his hand come through the door, I grab it and pull him in. Laughing hysterically he hit's the elevator stop button and turns around toward me. I grab his collar and pull him to me, again we are hands, legs and lips. We can hear our co-workers calling to us, letting us know help is on it's way…but the kind of help we need isn't from the fire department.

I know that I can't keep this up but I don't want to stop either. I am falling in love, what was it someone told me once? Maybe we aren't meant to be with just one person in our lives?

He puts his hand under my chin and tips my face up to his "Bella, what are you thinking about?"

"Edward, I don't want to be unfair to you. I can't keep stringing you along." I am crying by now. "Baby, did I ask you to leave your husband?" "No, no you didn't."

"Well, then don't worry about it, I love you enough to sacrifice myself for you and if you feel like you can't go on like this anymore then we will just have to be friends. But as you probably can already tell, we are amazing together."

"Edward, I have never had anything like this before not even with my husband. It has never been as easy as it has been with you or as passionate. I love you too but I have to put a stop to this. You deserve more and my husband deserves all of me, not just a part."

"Bella, I will be okay but can you promise me that once a year we will get together to go to see a movie?" "Yes, Edward, I can promise you that at least."

He gets a sly smile on his face, "Bella, can we pretend like last Friday didn't happen? Can I take you out to the movies one last time?"

"Well, what movie do we want to see?" His smiles will be the death of me "Batman and then we can get a Western Bacon cheeseburger afterwards."

"Edward, you sure know the way to my heart! I will try my hardest to meet you on Friday night, but I can't promise. And it has to be a theater out of town."

Just then the elevator doors open and 25 of our co-workers are standing there staring at us. "Wow, thanks for saving our lives, we really appreciate it, now I can get back to work, Good night Bella."

"Good night Edward."

The rest of the week we are perfect angels. I am able to get a babysitter for Friday night since Jacob is out of town.

I arrive at the theater, which is completely away from where anyone would see us. Edward is waiting for me at the entrance of the theater. "I already bought our tickets." "Thanks, I didn't expect for you to that."

"Hey, I'm a gentleman remember?"

"Oh, that's right, I forgot what those are like." He smiles that killer smile and reaches for my hand. "May I hold your hand miss?"

"Of course, but don't get any funny ideas mister just because you bought my movie ticket! Dinner is on me!" We both start laughing and head into the theater.

"Where shall we sit?" I love to sit in the middle of the theater, so we find a great spot and conversation is so easy between us, we keep talking until the previews. As soon as the lights dim, electricity!

Edward's hand moves to my hand and his arm goes around my shoulder. I start to giggle as I see his hand slowly reaching for my breast. I glance at him and he is grinning ear to ear. "You are incorrigible sir!" As I grab his hand, kiss it and place it there so he doesn't even have to try for it.

After the movie as we are walking back to my car he takes my hand. Slowly he starts caressing circles on the back of my hand. I can tell he's deep in thought and it scares me. "Penny for your thoughts?" He stops us and turns to me. "Bella, I know that tonight is our last night to be together like this till next year and I am just incredibly sad about that, I know it has to be like this but it just sucks!"

"I know but I just can't leave my husband Edward. We've been together so long and I do love him and I have my son to think about too."

"Yeah, but you love me too, never forget that!" and he pulls me into his embrace, the embrace that I've been craving all my life it seems. I don't want this night to end but I know that it has too. He slowly lets me go and bends to softly kiss my lips. We are still holding hands as he turns to start to walk toward his car. I can feel the tears slowly running down my cheeks and just as he starts to let go of my hand, I call his name out with a sob "Edward!" He turns and rushes back to me enveloping me once again in his strong arms, this time I know we aren't going to just say goodnight and leave it at that.

"Bella, I can't make love to you on the ground again or in my car like we're two horny teenagers, you deserve better than that!"

"I know, I know Edward but I can't just leave you tonight without us being together one more time!"

He looks across the street and there is a hotel. His eyebrows raise, "shall we?" I grab his hand and we are running towards the hotel, thank goodness this isn't a rent it by the hour and it's a respectable hotel, it would be so degrading but appropriate in the scheme of things.

We walk up to the desk and Edward asks if they have a room available? The desk clerk asks for the name and Edward says "Mr. & Mrs. Smith" and we both start cracking up! How appropriate.

We take the key and head up to our room. My heart is pounding so hard in my chest that I think there is no way Edward cannot hear it. We find our room, Edward's hand is trembling so badly he fumbles the card key and drops it on the floor. As he reaches down to pick it up I jokingly hit him on his arm and say "Nice job" he grabs my hand and pulls me toward him as the hotel door swings open. We back into the room, the adrenaline is pumping through my body now making me feel lightheaded, Edward's mouth is on mine and he is pressing me against the wall, the desk and then like in my dream we are tumbling backwards onto the bed, laughing. His kiss is deep and intoxicating and I simply cannot get enough.

He pulls away and is leaning over me, "I could stay like this with you forever." I love and hate when he says those sort of things, it's just a reminder that this is not real and we cannot stay like this forever. "Please don't make this harder than it needs to be, this moment is for us to remember when it gets rough out there." He responds by pulling off his shirt and pulling me close to him. My shirt and bra are a close second to his shirt as our naked flesh touch and we both shiver, not from the cold but from the intensity of it. Sensations and movements come in bursts as we stop to laugh or stare at each other.

Finally Edward clasps me tight towards him, holding me still while he starts kissing my neck, it was a sensation all to itself. He lets me go and I fall back to the bed. He stands up and starts removing my jeans. His fingers are so warm and skillful, he has them off in one quick movement.

I start to laugh, "What?" "It would seem sir that you've had some experience with this." "Oh, no 'mam, you are my first" "Yeah, right." "OK, well to be honest not my first but I am not that experienced." He was beginning to blush and the perfectly beautiful smile, the one that always made me melt was playing on his lips. He held his hand firmly to my face. A shiver of delight ran through me as I quickly shimmed out of my panties. "you miss seem to have some experience too". I laugh as I reach for his boxer briefs, "Have I told you that I love your fruit of the loom?" "Oh, really?" "Yes, I'd love to see them over there on the floor!" and in one quick movement they are gone.

He leans forward clasping my face between his hands, he pauses and sighs "You are so beautiful." I respond by pulling him down on top of me, the warmth of his body is amazing, his lips and hands are everywhere, he places his hand on my knee and he runs it slowly up my thigh. I start to squirm under his touch, he grazes his other hand across my breast and I melt for him.

His knee is between my legs as he opens me up to him, different from the last time is the gentleness that he is taking, he is taking his time and sparks begin to fly, he slowly enters me and I start to move up to meet him. The sensations are mind blowing. We move together deliberately, falling into perfect rhythm. He presses his body to mine feeling his bare skin against me. Our noises grow louder and he grabs one of my hands and links it with his. "I love you so much" I thrust my hips and grip his hair. My body is starting to quiver as I feel the world start to spiral out of control. He hitches my knees up further, thrusting deeper. I nuzzle his neck tasting the saltiness of our sweat as we slide together smoothly. A loud moan escapes Edward's lips as he comes and I am right behind him. He collapses onto the bed next to me and I curl up next to him. I look over at the clock on the nightstand, it is 1:00 am. "Oh my gosh Edward! I have to go home! He grabs me, "No, I will not let you go, because the minute you walk out that door begins the longest next year of my life!"

"I know, please know that it will be so difficult for me too but we must keep everything professional from now on". I slip from the bed and quickly get dressed. "Edward please stay here, I can't bare to have to say goodbye to you again". I lean quickly over and kissed his lips and ran out the door, tears streaming down my face as I could feel the distance between us grow.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

The next few months were torturous for me as we played friends. We still talked at work, secret smiles and touches. We would text message each other but nothing that could be used against us.

Then one day as we were all talking at work, he let it slip that he had started dating someone. He looked at me to judge my reaction. I tried to act very nonchalantly, "Oh, really? Who?" but inside I was screaming "How could you tell me THIS way?" My heart was breaking, it was a double whammy.

Our co-worker Tyler asked "How long have you been seeing her Edward?" a very innocent question that made me want to slap him. "Well, about a week or two, it's still pretty new but I think that I like her, she's got kids but I'm really OK with that."

I swallowed the lump in my throat, "So you don't mind older women with children?"

Edward looked surprised that I would ask that question, "No, I was seeing someone else and she had a son but it was a bad time in her life. She wasn't free to be with me, I still love her and if anything were to change, we would be together in a heartbeat."

My eyes started to tear up so I looked away and started acting like I was typing something on my computer. Alice decided to jump into the conversation "Well, what if it gets serious with this new girl? Would you leave her for the other woman?"

I turned around to look at her and then at Edward, "yes, Edward what if the other woman said that she was ready for a real relationship with you, that her situation had changed?"

Edward's eyebrows raised "Well, Bella if she told me now, I would be with her in a second, I love her but she has assured me that we can never be together."

"Edward, you know that she loves you and would be with you if she could be she just can't!" At this point we had gotten everyone's attention at our intense conversation. "Bella, I know but I can't wait around for her!"

I could feel the tears threatening once again, so I got up and excused myself to go to the bathroom. I sat in the bathroom crying. I heard the door open and then I hear Alice calling for me, "Bella, are you in here?"

I try to sit quiet but I just can't.

"Bella, I know you're in here, I can hear you, why are you crying."

"Alice, I can't tell you" She comes to stand in front of stall that I am in. "Honey, you've got to tell me, I've got a very upset young man standing outside this bathroom, who I had to stop from coming in here, he's beside himself".

I open the stall door and look at Alice. "Bella, I've known for a while that something has been going on between you and Edward, you talk about him all the time and you guys are always talking to each other. I know something is going on, I just don't know what."

"Alice, I am in love with Edward, we have fallen in love with each other but I can't leave Jacob. I know it's wrong and I didn't mean for it to happen, is some how just did."

Alice just wrapped her arms around me, "Bella, how deeply in love have you fallen with him? I mean has it become physical or is it just in the flirty stage?"

At this question, I divert my eyes from hers. I shake my head, "We've slept together twice, it was the night we all went to the movies and then we went out alone a couple of weeks after that, that was the second time but we've been good for the last couple of months. I know it's not right of me to be upset but I can't help it. I love him and if things were different we would be together. He is my soul mate. He is everything I want in a man but born 11 years too late!"

There was a bang on the door, "Bella! Bella! Can I please come in there?"

I look at Alice and nod yes. She opened the door and Edward rushed in, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry" He pulls me into an embrace "I didn't mean to tell you like that, I never wanted to hurt you but I didn't want to just look like an fool waiting around for someone that I could never fully have."

"I know Edward, I didn't mean to react like that either, I really do understand. I promise I will be on my best behavior." And with that he slowly kisses me, "I should probably get out of the girls bathroom." I smile weakly at him "yeah, probably" and push him out the bathroom door.

Alice comes back in, "Are you ready to go back?" I sigh, "Yes, I think so, please don't tell anyone about this" She looks at me incredulously "Bella, what do take me for? A snitch? This is entirely between you and Edward. And probably Jacob".

"Thanks, you're such a great friend! Do you think I should tell Jacob? Do you think it's worth loosing him?"

"Well, Bella I don't know , do YOU think it's worth loosing him? He's a sure thing, whatever, you have going on with Edward could just be a fleeting thing."

I sigh heavily "I really need to think about it all don't I?"

Alice just smiled and shook her head yes.

We walked back to our desks in silence.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

"I've been noticing how pretty you've been looking" Jacob was sitting on our bed watching me get ready for work. "Do you have a new boss at work or something?" I glance over at him "What do you mean by that?"

"Well, for the past couple of years you would wear whatever is the first thing that you would touch in the morning and throw your hair in a bun or ponytail. And now? You're dressing up and doing your hair and makeup."

"Jacob, I just decided that I wanted to dress differently at work, it's nothing special."

He looks pensively at me "Or maybe I should ask you who Edward is?"

At the mention of his name my body goes rigid "he's a co-worker, what are you implying Jacob?"

"Well, Bella you mention him an awful lot is all" Slowly I turn around and look at my husband. I know this is my opportunity to tell him, my opportunity to get out of my marriage. But I just can't, I can't hurt him like that. "He is just one of the new guys in my department. He's really nice and we have a lot in common, that's all."

Jacob gets up and comes to stand in front of me. "I don't care if you have guy friends, it's just when you dress up, smell pretty and blush at the mere mention of a certain name, now that makes me nervous. But if you tell me that he's nothing, just a friend then there is nothing to worry about." He takes me in his arms and for a moment I think that he is going to finally kiss me but no, he hugs me, turns and walks out the door.

I exhale not realizing that I have been holding my breath. What was I going to do? If Jacob suspects something then I haven't been very careful. But it did make him sit up and take notice. As I finished getting ready for work, Jacob called from the other room. "Bella, do you think we could get a babysitter for tonight? I'd like for us to go out."

"Yes, it will be hard to find someone on such a short notice but I am sure that I could." It had been months since Jacob and I had gone out alone together, he was away from home so much I felt like I didn't even know him anymore. I also knew that he'd expect me to get dressed up for him but my heart just wasn't in it.

Later that night as I walk into our living room, his eyes light up "You look so beautiful tonight."

"Thanks" He leans in to kiss me but I start for the door. I can see out of the corner of my eye that he's a little miffed that I walked away. "You ready to go? If we don't leave now we'll be late for our reservations."

As we walk out to the car Jacob reaches for my hand, it was the most natural normal thing for him to do but my brain is screaming "Traitor!" How ridiculous!

I get in the car and continue with the argument that I am having with myself. It's quiet in the car; we don't speak to each other. I reach over and turn the radio up. Jacob smiles at me and puts his hand on my leg. I can tell he's trying, I am wondering if it's too little too late. I will go along with tonight, I will try but Edward is on my mind the whole time.

We get to the restaurant and as we are walking inside I notice a car out front, Oh my gosh! Its Edward's car, how is this possible? Of ALL the restaurants in our town he's _here?_

Jacob and I are seated no more than two minutes when I hear Edward's laugh. I look up and see him sitting with a woman that I can only assume is her. My heart falls to the bottom of my feet and I feel the room start to spin.

Edward looks up like he can sense I am there and gives me a crooked smile. I excuse myself and head to the bathroom, before I can even go inside Garret is standing there blocking the door. "Excuse me, please let me through"

"Bella, don't act like this." I look up at him. I can't believe he is saying this to me. "Edward I don't know what you are talking about. I need to use the restroom and you are blocking my way."

"Sure, sure Bella, seeing me here with "her" doesn't bother you one bit?" I shake my head "Well that's just great because I want to go knock that stupid grin off your husband's face!"

"Why Edward? What has he done to you?"

"Nothing Bella, except be married to you, be able to touch you out in public, be able to be with you without feeling ashamed that I am doing something wrong."

As he says this I look up at him and there are tears in his eyes. I reach out and slowly caress his cheek. "Edward, I am so sorry. It is hard for me too; I don't want to see her either. All night I have been feeling like I am cheating on you." I reach up on my tiptoes and quickly kiss him then walk away.

Jacob has just ordered when I get back to the table. "I hope you don't mind, I took the liberty to order for the both of us." He smiles at me but then notices my face. "Honey, what's the matter?"

"I just want to eat and then go OK?" He frowns "But why? I don't understand."

I smile suggestively and reach across the table, take his hand and squeeze it, "Because I want to go home and be with you." I can tell that he gets what I am implying. He smiles "Let's take it to go then!"

I laugh and look up as Edward looks over. I smile at him then turn my attention back to Jacob before he looks to see what I am smiling at.

Our waitress brings our food, Jacob laughingly asks her for some to go boxes and tells her there's been an emergency and we must leave. She brings them right away and packs the food for us.

The whole time Edward is watching us. As we walk out of the restaurant I look back at him and I see him mouth "I love you." I turn and run out after my husband.

In the car Jacob keeps running his hand up my thigh and under my dress. Trying to caress my cheek, I can tell that he is expecting us to sleep together when we get home. I can't deny him but it's going to be so hard. I look out the window and start to cry. He reaches over and takes my hand. "Bella, is there something that you need to tell me? I'm not dumb you know. The minute you got to the restaurant you started acting weird, it has to do with that guy I saw you talking to by the bathroom right?"

I didn't even realize that he saw Edward, I start to cry harder and he lets go of my hand. "Bella, tell me! Just tell me! I know something is going on. I've felt the disconnect for a while now."

Without looking at him I start to word vomit "Jacob, I never meant to hurt you, but what I am about to tell you is going to hurt you, devastate you and I. And you are going to leave me because of it, I am sure. That guy is Edward, we work together and we are in love with each other. I never meant for this to happen, I was just feeling so lonely and disconnected from you. He filled all the voids in my life."

Jacob looked like I had punched him in the stomach. "ALL?"

I took a deep breath "Yes, Jacob, ALL. It only happened twice but I know that's two times more than it should ever be."

"Bella, I don't even know what to say right now! I want to go back to that restaurant and knock that guy out!"

I can't keep myself from smiling "What could you possibly be smiling at right now?"

"Well, that's exactly what Edward said about you." Jacob's face looks like he is going to start crying any minute "Why? Why would he want to punch me? What have I ever done to him? Seriously Bella, I can't even see how this is remotely the same for him!"

"No, Jacob it's not the same at all. He wants me and you have me." The next words out of Jacob's mouth shock me but shouldn't "Well, Bella maybe he'll be getting what he wants after all! Do you want to be with him? Do you want to throw away our 10 years together for a fling?"

Now, I am mad, he isn't even taking any blame for this situation; sure I was the one who slipped but his lack of presence in the relationship had to be counted for something. "YOU don't understand Jacob! You and I may have been together for more than 10 years but really if you think about it and are honest with yourself and me, you haven't been present in this marriage for over 4 years. What did you expect to happen? I need to be loved and appreciated and touched and kissed. Edward gave me those things even though he knew there wasn't anything in it for him long term."

"Yeah Bella, it's because he saw it as an easy FUCK!"

Before I knew what I was doing my hand came out and I slapped Jacob across the face "You better get the hell out of my face! Don't even turn this car off. I don't want you to come in that house! I hope you have some where to stay because you need to go there!" I opened the car door and before he could say anything I slammed the door in his face. He didn't even try to follow me; he just took off down the street.

I ran to my front door, I can't cry, I don't want the babysitter to suspect anything. "Hey, Lauren! Thanks for watching Cody tonight for us."

"No problem Mrs. Black, hey where did Mr. Black go?"

"Oh, he had to go out of town, emergency business."

"Sure hope he doesn't have to be gone long."

Do I really have to have this conversation with her? "Actually Lauren, we don't know how long he will be gone this time."

"Oh wow, bummer."

"Yeah, I know, so do you need a ride home?" Lauren shook her head "Nah, my dad's on his way to pick me up.

"Oh, that's great! Here is your check."

I watch as she goes out to her father's car before I have my complete and total breakdown on the entry way floor but I also have to do it quietly because Cody is sleeping upstairs.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

I must have fallen asleep on the floor because the next thing I hear is my phone, I am getting multiple texts, they are all from Edward…are you home? You're late…..honey, I'm worried….I am on my way over in 5 minutes if you don't answer… I look at my watch just as there is a knock or more like a pounding on my front door. "Bella, Bella, are you in there? Pound, pound, pound…

"I'm coming" I threw the door open and launch myself into his arms, I am crying hysterically. "How did you know Jacob wasn't here?"

"I followed you home last night and watched him leave. What happened" Edward asked

"It was horrible, I told him, I broke down Edward! I wasn't meant to happen this way. He was so mad, he told me that you are using me and that you will just dump me when you are through with me." my mind is all over the place, "Oh my goodness Edward, what time is it?" "I need to get Cody to school"

Edward looks at his watch "Don't worry you have plenty of time."

"Edward I don't think that I can drive right now, do you think you can drive us?" I start towards the stairs. "Bella, are you ready for Cody to meet me?"

"I will tell him the truth, you are a friend of mommy's from work, he won't care, he's 6 years old."

With that I turn and run up the stairs to my son's room. He is playing with his cars, "Hey buddy, you need to get dressed and ready for school." "Mama, where is daddy?" Normally Jacob is the one to take Cody to school because he works from home and I leave for work so early. "Well, daddy had to go out of town late last night and mommy's going to take you today." This seems to satisfy him and he runs to grab his clothes.

As we come downstairs Edward is standing by the door. Cody looks at him and smiles "Who are you?"

Edward smiles at him "My names Edward, I work with your mom." A look of recognition comes across Cody's face "Oh, yeah, she talks about you a lot." Edward looks up at me with a slight grin on his face "Does she? Well, I talk about her a lot too."

I smile at him and mouth I love you over my son's head. It should feel wrong but it doesn't and suddenly I can feel a huge weight lifting off my shoulders. It's not that Jacob and I have a bad relationship, it's just that we don't really have a relationship anymore other than parents to Cody. That's not what marriage is about.

We head out to Edward's car. "Mr. Edward, you have a really cool car." Edward laughs "Thanks little man." And my heart melts that this man that it seems I have chosen likes my son. It could have been bad since he's so young but then I start laughing to myself because they probably have a lot in common.

We drop off Cody and head to get some coffee. "I am going to have to get back to work" Edward says "Are you going to come in today?" I shake my head, "No, I need to be there to pick up Cody from school, Jacob usually does this, because I work. I don't know if he's coming home or not."

"Yeah, you need to be there for your baby."

We sit at the coffee shop for a few more minutes before he drives me back to my house. He walks me up to my door. He gently bends down and kisses my lips. "I will see you later honey."

"OK"

Once I was back in my house and I watch Edward drive away. I wander into the living room and sitting in the chair looking at me was Jacob. I startled "what are you doing here?"

"Bella, I LIVE here, what was HE doing here?"

"He came to check on me, to see if I was OK."

"He couldn't have called you on the your phone?"

"Well, I wasn't answering my phone, he was concerned."

"But you let Cody meet him, what are you doing? Is this what you _want_?"

"Jacob, I don't know what I want anymore. I didn't plan this, I certainly wasn't looking for this. It really took me by surprise."

"Well, Bella it's taken me completely by surprise too! I don't feel like I even know you anymore!"

"You don't! You stopped knowing me years ago! You, never touch me, you rarely ever even kiss me an you aren't interested in me or my day. You NEVER talk to me and we haven't had sex in months! WE GO THROUGH OUR WHOLE NIGHT WITHOUT ANY WORDS SPOKEN TO EACH OTHER! And when I do try to talk to you I feel like I am annoying you! What kind of life is THAT Jacob?"

"Well, you're the one Bella that took your relationship with that kid to another level and that can't be taken back! What you gave him was ours! Now you've cheapened it. I've never strayed and I've had plenty of opportunity but I'd never do that!"

"Well, Jacob aren't you just Mr. Perfect! Yes, I made a horrible mistake, I am so sorry, I'm human. But I obviously was missing something, that YOU weren't giving me! And that kid, well he did, he gets me!"

"Bella, if you were so unhappy why didn't you say anything? Why did you wait and then fuck the first guy that showed you any attention? "

I burst into tears and ran upstairs and slammed the bedroom door. I know it is childish but I didn't care. Yes, I made a horrible mistake but It didn't feel like it was. I love Edward, I love Jacob, I know I can't have both of them. I am going to have to choose.

I hear Cody outside the bedroom door, I must have fallen asleep. "Daddy, mama won't wake up"

"Bella, get up don't scare your son!" Jacob is yelling from the other side of the door.

I roll off the bed and unlock the door. Cody bounces in. "Hi buddy how was school?"

"It was good, why didn't you pick me up mama?

"I wasn't feeling very good, I need you to go play so that I can talk to daddy." "OK, mama" He ran out. I look up at Jacob.

"Bella, you need to make up your mind. I can't have you running back and forth between the two of us."

"I know that Jacob."

"Well, I have to be in New York for a meeting. I will be gone for a couple of days. I would like you to try and figure it out before I get back."

"That's fair"

"Good, I'm already packed and my taxi is waiting."

I breathe a sigh of relief as Jacob walks out to the waiting taxi. I raise my hand to wave but he doesn't look back.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

I go about my night as usual with Cody in bed by 6:30 pm. By 7:30 pm Edward is at the door.

"Hi babe, how are you?" As his strong arms envelop me. "So, much better now that you're here with me. I have missed you so much." "Me too" He kisses me full on the mouth. It's been a long time since we've been able to be together, well two months but it feels like forever.

He takes my hand and leads me to the couch. We sit there just kissing and whispering to each other. We fall asleep like this.

The next morning when I wake up, Edward is gone but he's left a note. _I didn't want to upset Cody, so I left before he woke up and found us together. _He was always thinking one step ahead of me.

I sat up and immediately felt lightheaded. Then a little naucious . I head to the kitchen to grab some crackers. Then a crazy thought hits me, "When was my last period?" I run to the bathroom and grab the box of pregnancy tests that I've had from when we were trying for Cody, sure that was seven years ago but they might still be good. I pee in the little cup and dip the applicator in…..1 minute…2 minutes….3 minutes…I look down and realize that I have my answer for Jacob. It's come a lot quicker than I had anticipated.

Was I happy? Was I sad? I wasn't sure but I knew that whatever happened I wanted this baby. I didn't know how Edward was going to take this but I couldn't wait to tell him.

I called his cell phone, it went straight to voicemail. That was weird, I called again….voicemail…..a third time…voicemail.. Where was he?

I sat down on the couch. "_I can't believe I am going to have a baby."_ as the words came out of my mouth I realize Cody is standing in the door way. "Good morning honey." The look on his face is excitement, "Mama, you are going to have a baby? Daddy's going to be so excited."

"Well baby we need to keep it a secret OK? I want to surprise Daddy when he gets home OK? Can you do that?" He shakes his head, "yes mama" "OK, good"

"What are we doing today mama?"

"Well, I think I am going to take you to grandma's, would you like that?"

"Yay! Grandma's, grandma's grandma's" I think he's a little excited!

"Run and get dressed then buddy."

I grab my phone and dial Edward again. A very groggy sounding voice answers "Hello…."

Relief floods through me "Oh my gosh, I've been trying to get a hold of you." I can tell there is a smile in his voice "I came home and fell asleep. I didn't dare sleep at your house last night with Cody right upstairs."

"Edward, thank you for being so considerate, I really, really appreciate it. Can I come and pick you up?"

"yeah, of course!"

"Great! I will be there in about 25 minutes, I am going to drop Cody off at my mom's, then you and I can go talk."

He laughs "Talk? Is that what we're calling it these days?" I give a nervous giggle, "No, Edward we really need to talk."

"Oh, I'll be ready."

"Bye, hun"

We pull up to Edward's house and he is already waiting outside for us. As he jumps in the car Cody yells "Hi Mr. Edward!" "Hey Cody!" "Mr. Edward guess what?" and before I can even anticipate what my son is about to say it's out there "My mama is going to have a baby!"

Edward's face goes white and he looks at me. "Oh, really?" He's imploring me with his eyes to speak. I am in shock, I can't believe Cody said that. "Cody, I said that it was a secret!" "Mama, you said from daddy." He's right I did only say daddy.

I look at Edward and smile, he mouths over Cody's head "_Is it mine?"_ tears fill my eyes as I nod yes. The few moments it takes for him to react feel like hours but slowly a smile spreads across his face, he is beaming from ear to ear.

I start the car and race to my mother's. As Cody and I walk up the stairs I tell him "Mama having a baby is a secret for just you and me to know, OK? Do you understand?"

"Yes, mama." I knock on the door and wait for my mother to open it. "Hi, mom."

"Hi, Bella, you look awful." "Gee, thanks mom!" "I'm just saying you do, come on in." She steps out of the way to let Cody in. "I can't come in, I have to go but can you watch Cody for me till tomorrow?"

She looks at me with concern in her eyes, "Of course honey, don't worry about him."

"Thanks." I kiss her and run back to the car. Edward has been laying back in the seat and stays that way till we get around the corner. I pull over as soon as I can.

"Are you sure Bella?" "Yes, Edward! I took four tests this morning and ALL of them were positive!"

He kisses me "What are we going to do now?"

"Well, I plan on keeping this baby, and I plan on tell Jacob that I want a divorce. I want to be with you, if you'll have me?"

He pulls me to him and whispers in my ear "Yes, I want you….all of you, this baby and Cody included."

We start to kiss and I begin to laugh. "What's so funny?" "I want to find somewhere we can be alone."

"Well, my roommate left for work already, we can go back to my place." I couldn't start the car fast enough.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

We got to Edward's apartment and he leads me to his room, funnily this was my first time here. "I like your house." He smiles "yeah, it's not bad for two single guys but it's not big enough for three more people, even if two of them are little."

"True, we'll need to get a bigger place, although, we could always stay at my house."

"Bella, I don't want to live in another man's house." I nod my head in agreement, "OK, then we need to start looking for a place of our own."

He stops and pulls me to him, "I really don't want to talk about this right now, do you?"

I smile, "No, I really want you to kiss me right now."

"Well, you're in luck, because I really want to kiss you right now." And he leans down and presses his lips to mine. I sigh and lick his lips as an invitation, Edward needs nothing else, he sucks my tongue into his mouth, and it feels like heaven.

We melt and mold our lips and bodies together. He starts kissing me along my cheek and continues down my neck. I can feel the roughness of his face and feel the goose bumps spring up on my body. He places an open mouth kiss over my shirt to my very sensitive breasts, I gasp but he takes it as a green light to keep going. He lies down on his bed and carefully pulls me with him. He pushes my shirt up and gingerly places his hand on my belly and then kisses me there. I see a single tear slip down his cheek and onto my stomach. I hear him whispering something but I can't understand what he is saying. I just stare at him in awe. He is so gentle and loving.

He looks up to see me staring and smiles sheepishly "I was thanking the baby for giving you to me. I was so afraid that I was never going to be able to call you mine. I love you so much and now I get to have a little bit of you forever." I smile at him as I take his face in my hands and pull him to me, I start kissing him like he is the air that I need to breathe.

He slowly starts removing my pants while he continues placing kisses along my neck. He has successfully rid me of my clothing and looked a little smug. He begins placing kisses down my chest till he reaches my breasts. He looks up at me and smiles, "What are you smiling at Edward?" "Well, these look like the pregnancy has been good to them…." And captures one of my nipples in his mouth. It feels so good but they are so sensitive, I moan and he looks up at me "Is this OK?"

"Yes, I can't stand it Edward, I need you so bad." Smiling, he slides down to the end of the bed, I frown and he laughs, "What's wrong?"

"Where are you going?" He starts at my toes as he kisses each one moving onto my thighs. I start to squirm because he is about to go to a level we have never been to. I know I am pregnant with his child but still I feel like this is somehow more intimate. Edward licks my thigh and blows on it, my eyes roll back, he is still for a moment and I open my eyes, he is staring at me. "What?"

"You are so beautiful, I'm going to do this now and I would like for your eyes to be open."

"Oh Edward! I don't know if I can but I will try, it feels so good. I don't know how long I can handle it."

He starts laughing "Don't worry, I don't think I can go for too long because I need to be in you." With that he leans down and kisses me there and my body reacts with a little up thrust, it knows what it wants and it is Edward's mouth on my clit. Edward seems to understand this need and he flicks it with his tongue. I almost pass out, I am so super sensitive. He laughs and holds my legs still. I grab the top of his head and push him back down, he greedily obliges as he licks from my clit to my opening. He starts to thrust his tongue in and out.

"Edward, please I need you now!" He doesn't hesitate, somehow he is out of his pants and briefs in two seconds. He pulls my legs up and thrusts into me. I can't take it, tears are streaming down my face, it has been too long. I pull him down to me to kiss him. I wrap my legs around him and meet every thrust. His fingers move to my clit and he helps to get me there fast. As I am about to slip off the cliff he lets out a groan, I can feel him pulsing and shuddering. That pushes me over the edge and I feel like I am falling, I am having an out of body experience. He kisses me and lays his head tenderly on my breasts as our breathing starts to slow. His face is so peaceful; he starts to fall asleep as I play with the hair at the nape of his neck.

I am so in love with this man. I didn't know it could be possible to love someone more than Jacob but this man is my soul mate. We were made for each other. I am just thankful that we were able to find each other.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

We wake up in pretty much the same position we fell asleep in. Edward kisses me and I smile. It's the first of many kisses during the day. We get up and he makes me breakfast. He introduces me to his roommate Jasper. I see a little eye play between the two of them and Edward nods his head ever so slightly and Jasper smiles. "Nice to finally meet you Bella, I have heard a lot about you." Edward punches him jokingly and Jasper excuses himself.

"What was that all about?" I ask and smile. "Well, lets just say he's gotten an earful since we've met, my full teenage angst over you." He laughs as he says this.

"Have you told him yet about the baby?"

"Nope, not yet, but I will. I'm not ashamed of you Bella, you know that right?" he pulls my chin up to look at him. "Yes, I know."

"I mean, I wouldn't have pursued you if I was."

"Edward, well that is good considering you knocked me up!" I say laughing.

We finish breakfast "what do you want to do now?" I smirk at him, grabbing his hand I lead him back to his bedroom and continue with our nighttime games.

I love the way that our bodies fit perfectly together, as we are laying there Edward starts to follow the stretch mark lines on my stomach I start to move his hand away, "Are these from when you were pregnant with Cody?"

"Yes, do they disgust you?" He looks at me with the most adoring look "No!, how could they? They are from carrying life in you, like you are now. I think they're amazing reminders that this is where your baby lived for nine months.

"Well, technically it's ten months but who's counting?" I frown, "What Bella?" "Well, Jacob hated them, he said they reminded him of old lady skin, he couldn't stand to touch them."

"Jacob is an idiot!" as he started placing kisses on each one till he got to my breasts, "now these are pretty amazing too, did Mr. Perfect have anything to say about these?" as he kisses each one.

"Well, he said that he couldn't look at them the same knowing that I nursed Cody. He said if I would have just given him formula he might have felt different but he couldn't stand it when I would leak milk. Gosh, Edward why didn't I leave him sooner?" tears are running down my cheeks now.

"Well, baby maybe if you had we'd never have met." He takes my face in his hands and kissed me tenderly. "Edward, I love you."

"I love you too, Bella, thank you for making me the happiest man in the world."

When I wake up the next morning Edward is just watching me and running his fingers across my belly. "You are so beautiful when you sleep and when you wake up in the morning."

I smile and reach up to pull him down for a kiss, "you know you don't have to say such things, you've already got me into your bed."

He laughs. "You may want to check your phone, it's been going off all night."

I reach over for it, there are 40 calls all from Jacob. I roll my eyes and sigh…."Here we go." Edward takes my hand in his strong one. "Do you want me to go with you?" I reach up and touch the worry lines between his eyebrows. "Edward, it's not like I am going to tell my parents I got pregnant, this is my husband. I need to go alone."

Edward shakes his head "What if he hurts you? you said he has a pretty bad temper." I smile, "That is one thing that I am not worried about, Jacob may yell and scream but he will never hurt me." I could tell he wasn't convinced. "Would you feel better if we met out in the open?"

"Bella, I would feel better if I were there."

"Edward if he saw you there, then there might be some violence." I try to laugh it off but I know deep down it's true.

In the end we compromise, he will come but stay in the car.

I call Jacob and tell him we need to meet at Starbucks. He is upset because he wants me to come home with Cody. "Jacob, I can't, I need you to meet me there." I hang up and I realize I have been holding my breath.

Edward opens his arms to me and I slip into the circle of his embrace. It's a place I've grown to love and need.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

As we pull up to Starbucks I can see Jacob is already inside. "Let me out here." I say as Edward leans in to kiss me. "Bella, no matter what happens I am here for you, I love you and can't wait to start our lives together."

I quickly kiss him back and jump out of the car. As I watch him drive away to the other side of the parking lot. I hear Jacob, "Bella, what the hell's going on? Where's Cody? "Why's that kid dropping you off?"

"Well, Cody is at my mother's." It's all I can say, it's not enough I know but I am all of a sudden terrified. Not of Jacob but because I am about to change the dynamic of our family forever! It's a little bit daunting.

"Jacob, I need you to sit down." I try to take his hand to lead him to a chair but he pushes my hand away. "Bella that's OK, I really don't plan on being here long, say what you came to say so I can go see my son."

I take a deep breath and swallow the fear. This has to be done, it must be said, but I wish that it was someone else having to say it, I feel like I am living in a movie. "Jacob, I'm pregnant." I see a small flicker of hope in his eyes but I am sure that the look on my face confirms his worst fear.

"It's his isn't it? Bella, what have you done, what were you thinking? Didn't I treat you good? Didn't I provide for you and Cody? How could you do this to us? I can't believe that you would even think about having a child with this boy!"

"Jacob first off, yes you were…are a wonderful provider for our family but I needed more than just money. Secondly, he is not a child."

Jacob looks at me and laughs, "Whatever Bella! I am assuming that you've made up your mind and I am not a part of your plans. I hope you know that I plan on fighting you for custody of Cody, I don't want him around that jackass!"

I couldn't believe what I was hearing, "Are you insane Jacob? You can't take Cody from me!" I could feel my blood starting to boil. "Watch me Bella." and he turned and strode out the door.

I ran after him and tried to grab him but he flung me away from himself. I didn't even see him pull up but Edward was there picking me up off the ground. He took off after Jacob and grabbed him so he was facing him. "Hey! How can you push her down like that, when you know she's pregnant?!"

"Get out of my face!" Jacob pushes Edward and Edward starts to pull his hand back to knock Jacob out but I just can't let him do that. "Stop! Stop it both of you!" In mid swing Edward stops and looks at me like I am crazy. "Please, please don't fight." Jacob turns to me and he's crying, I want to go to him but I know I've made my choice. In his mind I am the enemy now, "Bella just go with him. I'm sorry I couldn't be what you needed. I blame myself for this, I didn't realize you weren't happy."

"Jacob, I'm so, so sorry, I didn't plan for this to happen but I love him and he is what I want. I can't explain it, I wasn't looking but my heart and soul want him!"

Jacob looks to Edward, then me and puts out his hand to Edward. Edward reaches out to Jacob and shakes his hand. "Edward, I don't like this, I'm not happy with her decision but I can't only blame you. I know that. Take care of her, she is an amazing woman and I wish I would have told her that more often." At this point I break away from Edward and throw my arms around Jacob. "I am so sorry, I hope someday you will forgive me." He hugs me back and quickly kisses me and turns and walks away. Edward pulls me to him as I sob uncontrollably in his arms. "Let's go get Cody." I nod against his chest.

He leads me to his car. I cry softly all the way to my mothers house. When we pull up in front of my mom's house, Jacob is squatting down in front of Cody. He is telling him something and Cody is nodding. He hugs him, then hugs my mom and turns quickly to leave. He notices me, gives a sad smile, half wave and jumps in his car and is gone.

I get out of the car and head up the walk, Cody jumps off the porch and runs to me. "Mama!" "Hi, baby, what did daddy say?" "He said he's going away for awhile and he'll miss me but will call and will come see me soon."

My mother has quietly come up behind us and is looking at me with a million and one questions in her eyes for me. She is also looking at Edward with the same questions. I slowly stand up and reach for Edward's hand.


End file.
